The future of home improvements will hit the spot for the three-quarters of Americans who want to conduct business while conducting their business.
Attention home buyers and sellers! I’ve just come up with the world’s latest idea in home improvements: the Bathroom Bluetooth.
According to marketing agency 11mark’s new study “IT in the Toilet”, going to the ‘loo for some private time is over. You see, according to the 1,000 Americans surveyed, 74 percent of men and 76 percent of women report they have used their cell phone in the bathroom.
It used to be that the only business being conducted in the baño was between you and the porcelain beneath your bottom. In public, that may have expanded a bit when you realized in dismay that you needed to talk to your next-stall neighbor to request that they, ala Seinfeld, spare a square. But those days are gone. We’re texting, surfing the net, answering phone calls and even making them. And 20 percent of men surveyed have indeed participated in work-related calls while “indisposed”, doing their duty while handling your business.
Hence, the need for a hands-free device. I mean, they have hands-free faucets, hands-free soap dispensers and hands-free paper towel holders. Isn’t this the next logical step?
In some cities, including the one in which I live, holding a phone while driving is verboten. That’s not about to stop us, however. If our car is too old for a built-in device, we snap these handy-dandy devices to our visors that allow us to carry on our conversations uninterrupted as other distracted drivers blissfully carry on theirs. So why can’t there be one for the bathroom?
With a handy shelf to hold your phone and installed above the toilet paper dispenser, the Bathroom Bluetooth would automatically adjust to work with any phone as soon as your derriere touches down. Simple commands like “dial” and “hang up” would be further enhanced with Clapper technology, allowing you to wordlessly initiate a mute function when you sense something’s about to happen that you may not want to share with the person (or entire staff meeting) on the other end.
In my mind, the Bathroom Bluetooth would come in a wide variety of colors to seamlessly match any décor. It would also include a hands-free anti-bacterial gel applicator that users would be required to use to clean their hands and their phones before they exit. You see, the 11mark study also notes that while 92 percent of those surveyed wash their hands after a pause in the potty, only 14 percent wash their phones.
So I’m going to be trying to contacting the good folks at Bluetooth to see if they’re ready to take home improvements by storm. But before I do, I think I need to lie down. All of this excitement has me feeling a little…flushed.
11mark’s new study “IT in the Toilet” http://www.11mark.com/IT-in-the-Toilet
Clapper technology http://youtube/cfgN5tUgjb8
ala Seinfeld, spare a square http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77tN5_fhkH8